Questions. And sometimes, Answers.

We ask many questions in a day. How are you? What would you like for breakfast? Where are you going? What are your plans for the weekend? Would you like fries with that? Most of our questions are standard and are followed by standard responses. But once in awhile, someone asks a real question, and for me, it always throws me off. Because it's just not expected.

Several months ago, at some point after coming back from ICTN triathlon training camp, I was spending the afternoon with a friend, and the subject of the camp came up. I told him, as I had told many others, that it was fantastic. "Tell me about it," he said. "What made it so great?" And then he sat quietly, in anticipation of my response. I found myself without words. People don't ask questions like that. Questions that actually mean something. That probe beyond the surface we like to live on. And then pause to listen, really listen, for the answer.

It reminds me of another friend who, out of the blue at church one Sunday, asked me how my spiritual life was. "Feel free to tell me that it's none of my business" followed. Maybe that's part of the problem. We think nothing should be anyone's business and are equally afraid of sticking our noses where they don't belong. I chose to answer honestly.

A couple of weeks ago, a co-worker I had just met asked me point blank if I had a man in my life, or if I was interested in anyone. It made me laugh. No pussy-footing around. I answered with the truth.

On Saturday, my son's father is getting married, and we are invited. I was asked yesterday if I had any feelings about the wedding. "Yes, I have lots of feelings about it." I would have gone further into it, though I struggled with two things: how to describe the feelings, and which were appropriate to share with the given individual. Dani came up to us and put a stop to the conversation, but my struggle continues. How do I describe these feelings I have? Which are appropriate to share, with whom, and which should I just bite my tongue about?

Sometimes these real questions don't need to be answered with words. But I think we should ask more of them.