Making Great Things Even Better

Darryl has commented on a couple of occasions on how loved I am, that I have an abundant community of support, and that I am very fortunate.  It's so true, and today that was demonstrated once again.


Last night Darryl asked me to marry him, and put a ring on my finger to confirm the love that he has for me.  (Of course, as soon as I had told a few core family members, I took a picture of it and put it up on Facebook.)  As anyone who has become engaged to the love of their life knows, I was floating on clouds.  So very, very happy.  Completely full.  


That sense of complete joy has become even more complete, though, as I have read the well-wishes of friends and family.  People who truly wish the best for me.  People from many areas of my life - high school (even some I rarely, if ever, talked to back then), college, camp, triathlon, university, church...  Even my former in-laws.  (Even my ex-husband, for that matter.)  Not all these people are invested in my daily life, but I sensed a genuine happiness behind each "congratulations."  Knowing I have this support behind me is just phenomenal.  One of my friends even sent me a message saying that he was blessed and filled with hope because of my engagement.  How could this be?  


Darryl writes me daily "blurbs" - little insights into life.  (Just another thing that makes him so amazing.)  One day, he wrote this about sharing the joy of others:


"This has to be a unique aspect to being human. There is no reason why any of us should be happy about what another person has. We really gain no benefit, do we?   What we gain is something we might not otherwise have, even if we begged for it. We can be happy. We can enjoy seeing the smile on another's face. We can find joy and contentment in seeing others being joyful and contented."


All these people chose to be happy about this new joy in my life, and in doing so, increased my own happiness.  A wonderful circle.


People often comment on how they don't know how I do all the things that I do.  It's simple.  It's because of them.  It's because of the support that I get from so many.  The help with child care.  The understanding when something isn't done on time.  The unexpected cash in the mail.  Driving my kids places they need to be.  Spiritual support through daily prayers.  Emotional support when the days are tough.  The quick Facebook message that says, "Hey, I just wanted to say that you inspire me."  And now, the heartfelt congratulations.  Chances are, if you are reading this right now, you have helped to make my life (and the life of my family) the wonderful one it is today, and for this, I thank you.  You may not have thought much of it, but I did.


There are so many people who go through life without this kind of support system in place.  I don't know how they do it.  Many times they don't.  They just can't make it.  I don't know why I have been deemed one of the fortunate ones who has the friends and family to stand behind me, but I certainly am grateful for it.

Whatever Happened to Shepard Scott?

When I was in junior high (I believe it was grade 6), a new student arrived in the middle of the year.  He had been placed in a local foster home, and was now attending our school.  He was, I suppose, a “typical” foster kid in many ways.  He struggled to fit in.  He cracked jokes in class.  (He didn’t do well in class either.)  He tried to make people laugh, and by doing so, like him.  But he had few friends.  I don’t even know offhand whom he could have truly called a friend.

Somehow, something about him struck me.  I never disliked him.  I didn’t make fun of him.  I didn’t really befriend him either.  I was simply polite.  But I could see that deep down, he was a good kid who just wanted to fit in.  

Having come from the “big city” (if I recall correctly, it was Brandon), he used the “new” catch phrases before others in our small town had heard them.  Things like “Shut up!” and “As if.”  They caught on as they did elsewhere, I suppose.  Even though we learned them from him, however, it still didn’t earn him any acceptance.

Then suddenly one day, he was gone.  Moved to another foster home.  I believe I heard that it was in Brandon again.  I don’t think any of us heard from or of him again.  He crosses my mind often, as he did today.  As I read about kids that had gone through foster care, being bounced from one (often dysfunctional) home to the next, I thought of Shepard.  The stories of these children, now adults, struck a chord with me.  I can’t imagine lacking the stability of a home - not knowing how long you would be there, or where you were going next.  Interestingly, children who were raised in an orphanage were reported to have fared better than those raised in foster homes.  Perhaps it was because they found their belonging there.

I’ve tried to locate Shepard a couple of times, but to no avail.  What happened to him?  Did he ever find “his place”?  Was there ever a time when he knew that for once, he belonged?  Was he resilient enough to make it through?  

I will likely never know.  But I do know this - as a teacher I will come across other Shepard Scotts.  They may drift in and out of my life as he did, but for the brief time that I encounter them, I have to do what I can to help them belong.  It may not be life-changing for any of them, but hopefully, somewhere down the line, they will look back and know that someone cared.  And maybe, just maybe, that will make the difference.

What I Meant to do...

...was write some sort of reflection on last year.  And I meant to do it last year.  And then I thought I would do it on New Year's Day.  My birthday seemed like an appropriate day.  But it just didn't happen.  And the full reflection won't.  I simply have other things to do.  Not better, necessarily, but more pressing.  Like finish my last four months of schooling.  Prepare for applying for jobs.  Apply for jobs.  Coach.  Train.  Raise kids.  Prepare for other upcoming events.

But I will say this.  Last year was amazing.  If you had told me I would be where I am today, actually, I probably would have believed you.  I wasn't expecting it though.  And I'm glad I didn't know where my life was going.  I know, however, that God spoke to me clearly at the end of 2009 and let me know that in no uncertain terms could He give me the things that I wanted if I continued in the direction I was going.  I had two choices: 1) Continue in the direction I was going and continue living an unfulfilled life, or 2) Change directions and live life to the full.  I chose the latter, because it just seemed obvious.  I didn't know whether I would get what I wanted in 2010.  I didn't know if I would get it ever.  But it was still clearly the better choice.  Oh, what did I want?  Simply to share my life with someone who was crazy about me and truly wanted to do life with me, not just hang out once in awhile.  I wanted to share my life with another.  I had so much "joie de vivre" inside me wanting to escape, with no one to intimately share it with.

And you know what?  I got it.  And it's amazing.

Here's to 2011!