One Year Down...

It's our first anniversary today.  One year ago we walked down the aisle in the room where we first met and vowed to spend the rest of our lives side by side.  It was a lovely day, full of joy, laughter and promise.  I can't think of many better days in my life.  No, I'll correct that.  I can't think of any better days. Some that equalled it in greatness, but none that can truly match it.

It's been a good year.  There have been challenges, to be sure.  Blending families is as difficult as they say.  There have been some tense moments, days even.  There have been days of annoyance, moments of anger, times of deep hurt.  But we have always moved through them and on from them, and I think I can honestly say that we have always done so while maintaining mutual respect.

There have been far more good days.  Days of celebration.  Days of showing the love that we have for each other.  Yes, good days.

And today, even more than a year ago, I truly love the man I stand beside.  He is a good man.  He is patient and kind.  He treats me well.  He loves me.  He loves our children - his, mine and ours.  Whenever I look at him, whether through my eyes or in my mind, I know that I have found the man of my dreams.  He is not perfect, but he is perfect for me.  He is all I need in a husband, and so much more.  He is my love.

As I look forward to the many years I hope we will have together, I have many dreams for us.  Some we will fulfill, I'm sure.  Others will remain as dreams.  We will have many adventures, though they may not be the ones we had planned.  What is important is that we stay as a team, standing strong side by side, ready to face whatever life may throw our way.  And at the end of the day, that we always choose to say, "I love you."

I love you, Darryl.  I loved you then, I love you now, I always will.

Happy anniversary, my love.

6 Reasons I Love Being a Mom

Mother's Day is coming to a close.  It has been a good day.  I came home with my hubby after spending a weekend celebrating our first anniversary (which is tomorrow) to a bunch of kids excited to see me and give me their tokens of love.  I always look forward to seeing what they have come up with.  It's a good feeling to know I am loved by the ones who are so important to me.  So let me tell you a bit about the six reasons I love being a mom.

1) Charisma.  She is, and always will be, my firstborn.  Charisma is the classic Type A personality, striving for perfection in everything that she does.  She is passionate, goofy and driven.  And an amazing source for information about Cody Simpson and One Direction.  Charisma challenges me to become a better person.  She also cares about people and will stand by and encourage anyone who is going through a rough time.

2) Hailey.  Hailey is my step-daughter and I'm still getting to know her.  Don't let the picture fool you though - she loves to laugh.  She has a sort of fun innocence that makes me smile.  She is creative and enjoys making things for her friends.  It has been neat seeing her come into her own in this family, and in life.

3) Caleb.  Caleb has a true soft spot for others.  He has always been sensitive to those around him, even though I think he sometimes tries to hide it.  It bothers him when others are upset, when he sees an injustice.  He is not afraid to speak up for others.  He also still gives me hugs, and I hope he always will.

4) Daniele.  Truly inquisitive, Daniele thirsts after all kinds of knowledge.  She simply loves to learn.  She is always willing to give you another chance, allowing herself to be vulnerable in the process.  She has a dynamic personality that draws people in.  An open, loving person who lets that shine through.

5) Justin.  My little monkey.  He makes me laugh with the things that he comes up with.  He loves books and cuddle time.  His never-ending energy astounds me.  Justin is always willing to help with any task, from baking to diaper changing.  And he definitely loves both his families.

6) Tessera.  My newest bundle of joy.  All she has to do is smile and my heart melts.  I cannot wait to see who she will become.

There they are.  Six amazing kids.  Six amazing reasons to love being a mom.  And I sure do love it.

Welcome to the World, Tessera

Tessera, you are now a week old.  Almost exactly.  I meant to write this much sooner, but somehow life is very busy with a newborn.

Moments after birth

You came into this world with pretty good timing.  I was able to finish my teaching term without finding a sub for the last day(s), but you didn't make us wait too much longer.

Waiting.  Nine months of waiting.  Then realizing that today will be the day we meet you.  And waiting.  There was a houseful here, waiting for your arrival.  All your siblings - Charisma, Hailey, Caleb, Daniele, and Justin.  All four grandparents.  Auntie Elli and Auntie Rina.  Then knowing the time was imminent.  Two midwives and a midwifery student.  Yes, a houseful.

And then you arrived.  Waiting for you to cry.  Realizing we hadn't thought to check if you were a boy or a girl.  Getting to be the first person to call you by name.  "Hi, Tessera." 

Tessera: "a small piece (as of marble, glass, or tile) used in mosaic work."  Your dad and I first heard the word at ICTN training camp last year.  Your dad thought it would make a beautiful name, and the symbolism was appropriate.  

We chose your name shortly after confirming that I was pregnant.  Tessera Beverley Damaris.  Tessera, the name bestowed upon you by your father.  Beverley after Grandma Nanka.  Damaris was my contribution.  When I was young I read a book called A Woman Named Damaris by Janette Oke.  It was about a girl who, among other things, is searching for the meaning behind her name.  All she knows is that her name comes from the Bible (which she has never read), and that for some reason it is special.  She is given a Bible and reads to find her name.  The story and the name always stuck with me, and I always wanted the chance to include Damaris in my daughter's name.  I waited for the opportunity, and thought that it would never come.  But it did.

Tessera Beverley Damaris, you have arrived in this world.  You are a beautiful piece in the mosaic of our family, of the world.  But the waiting has not ended.  We now wait to see who you will become.  What will you like?  Who will you be?  Will we be the guides that you need in life?  Will you be treated as the jewel you are?  "You is smart.  You is kind.  You is important."

The waiting never ends.  You will learn this.  So learn patience too, my darling.  Live your life well.  We will make many mistakes as we raise you, but know this.  You are loved.  By many.  If you only know one thing, know that.  We love you.

Welcome to the world, Tessera.

She's Powered by God

Imagine a 1.5 km swim, followed by a 31 km mountain bike ride, and then an 8.2 km trail run.  Now imagine that this takes place in Guam, where the bike ride has a total of 2400 feet of climbing, and the run is through the jungle.  The fastest racer completes this race on this day in 2:29:42, and the fastest woman in 2:46:11.  Now imagine that you are competing in this race with only one glute muscle and minus one sciatic nerve.

Jamie on her bike - XTerra Guam 2012

Jamie Whitmore won this race in 2006, and this year she came back to challenge it again, this time as a disabled athlete.  She finished the race in 4:52:09, coming in 86th out of 143 athletes.  Oh, and the other 142 were able-bodied.

Jamie blows me away all the time.  I met her in January of 2007 at a training camp in Arizona.  Her dynamic personality made it impossible to do anything but admire her.  I chatted with her briefly at the end of camp that year, and completely admired who she was.  The next year, I saw her again, and the thing that amazed me was that she actually remembered me.  Shortly after that training camp, she was diagnosed with cancer.

Like every other challenge that comes Jamie's way, she went after this one with a vengeance.  Even when it seemed like the cancer was kicking her butt, she kept fighting.  I won't share the whole story, but if you want, you can read about it here.

Now Jamie has come back to the sport that she loves - XTerra triathlon.  She has not only beaten cancer (we all hope for good!) but she has fought against all odds to go back to biking and "running."  Oh, and did I mention that she and her husband have 2-yr old twin boys?  And he was out there racing, too - placed 4th in his age category to boot.

This woman amazes me.  Motivates me.  Reminds me that life is there to live.  Reach out and grab it.  And don't ever quit.

Guam race write up can be read here.

Musings of a Pregnant Woman

Well, it's been awhile.  I often think of things I could write about here, but rarely take the time to actually do it.  Translated: by the time I get to the computer, my brain is so done with thinking throughout the day that all I can muster is reading Facebook and the odd blog or new story.  Writing more than 140 characters feel like an insurmountable challenge.

Of course, a progressing pregnancy has added to the challenge.  A pregnancy that is getting close to the done, of which my body has started reminding me through Braxton Hicks.  Yup.  The end is near.

It has been a good pregnancy.  I have felt good.  I have actually enjoyed it.  There are certain changes that come along with the territory that I have quite appreciated.  Healthier and (slightly) thicker hair.  Clear skin.  (I still deal with acne, and the break from it is fantastic).  Stronger nails.  "Girls" that don't show their age and use like they do when I'm not pregnant.  Even the belly has been fun.  Hey, this is the only time in life when an expanding waist is a great thing!

Of course, there are the cons - training is harder (heck, doing everything is harder), the first trimester nausea, the last trimester digestive frustrations.  I must say that they have been minimal though.

I love that I've been able to stay active.  I was pregnant for the majority of triathlon season and raced all the way through.  I have run three half marathons - at three, four and eight months pregnant.  I may be slow, but I'm still enjoying every run.  At 37 weeks.

It's been good.  Since this is very likely my last pregnancy (I have said that twice before, so who knows), I am trying to cherish every moment.  Part of me doesn't want it to end.  Part of me can't wait.  It will be another change in life.  Another bit of craziness to add to our already insane household.  But it will be good.

No.  It will be great.

Not a Ruined Life

I saw this on a a picture today on Facebook: "I have puppies instead of children.  I'd rather ruin my carpet than my life."

I love animals.  I think dogs are amazing animals.  They provide companionship and love for many people.  I don't currently want one of my own, however, because I don't want the responsibility.  (This may seem odd coming from someone with a good-sized "litter" of children, but it's true.)

The second part of the quote made me sad.  I have four children of my own plus a step-daughter, and my life is far from ruined.  In fact, it has been enriched beyond my wildest dreams.  Although some of my own dreams have been postponed and maybe even cancelled because of my kids, the trade-off has been in my favour.  Even when I thought everything I had worked so hard for was going to all but go up in smoke because I got pregnant in university, it worked out to my advantage.  I was able to take courses I wouldn't have been able to fit in otherwise, giving me a French course that greatly improved my language skills (though they still have a long way to go), as well as an additional degree in Kinesiology that has opened up another world of possibilities.  I'm sure there are many blessings that I don't even know about, and I haven't even included the obvious one - my beautiful son who brings me joy every day.

I realize that having kids is not for everyone, just as having puppies is not for everyone, but know this: my life is different, not ruined.  It is a life of struggle as I try to raise kids to make the right choices, to make their mistakes and learn from them, to become a person they are proud to be.  I give up things so that my kids have more opportunities.  I hope and pray that they will learn to appreciate each other rather than criticize each other.  I hurt when they hurt.  I also rejoice when they succeed.  I experience great joy when they sacrifice something for another person.  I smile when they triumph over something that has been a hardship for them.  And I cherish every hug, every kiss, every "I love you" that leaves their lips.

Definitely not a ruined life.

What I Like About You

In September, I was supposed to make a point of telling my husband and those I talk to things that I appreciate about him.  It was something someone started to help women encourage their men.  So many times we who are wives find the negative things about our husbands and point them out, but leave out the positive ones.  Clearly this does nothing to promote a good relationship.  (Incidentally, this was also a part of my marriage vows, so it was a good reminder to me to continue working on keeping them.)  I have to admit that I didn't say the one thing every day that I was supposed to, but the idea was on my mind.  Since I didn't follow through, and as it was just Thanksgiving and my hubby is definitely someone I am very thankful for, I thought I would make a list of 30 things I love about Darryl - one for every day of September.  It is by no means comprehensive, nor is it ordered in any significant way.  I don't think writing this list makes up for doing something on a daily basis, but it was a good exercise for me.  :)

1. He cleans up after supper.  I don't think he likes doing it any more than I do, but he does it anyway.

2. I don't think I have taken care of the garbage or recycling since May.  Neither have the kids.  Yet it always gets done.

3. His chilli is yummy!

4. He cuddles me when I'm upset, and is ok with "I don't want to talk about it" when he asks what's bothering me.

5. He takes Justin to the park to play.

6. He takes kids where they need to go.

7. He took Caleb out to shoot things for his birthday.

8. He takes Charisma shopping (and I know he doesn't like shopping any more than I do).

9. Dani has little "posters" that he made for her hanging on her bed.

10. He wrote a bedtime prayer just for Daniele.

11. He cares about what I want.

12. He tells me I'm beautiful.

13. He still gets distracted when I he's talking to me and I start changing. ;)

14. He does laundry.

15. He syphoned the gas from our old van so we could put it in our other vehicles.

16. I have never heard him yell (at least not in anger).

17. When we go to the beach with the kids, he goes in the water to play with them.

18. He is completely supportive of everything I do.

19. His sense of humour matches mine (though I'm not sure if this is really a good thing :P).

20. When the kids have games and concerts, he goes to watch - not because he has to, but because he wants to.

21. Day in and day out, he goes to a job he does not enjoy for less pay than he deserves in order to keep food on our table and a roof over our heads.

22. He believes that spending time is more important than spending money.

23. He gives me a goodnight and a good morning kiss every day.

24. He makes me laugh.

25. We can engage in some pretty good verbal banter.

26. We have been together for over a year and have never fought.  Disagreed, yes.  Fought, no.  This says far more about him than me.

27. Mac over PC - he agrees.

28. He's not the jealous type.  If I talk to a male friend, he does not suddenly become concerned that something inappropriate is going on.

29. He's an awesome dad and step-dad.

30. He loves me. :D